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Model: Sarabi Suicide
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- Music:Lose Me On the Way-Hope Sandoval and The Warm Inventions-Bavarian Fruit Bread
THERE ARE NO SPOILERS IN THIS POST. PROMISE.
The pain of having to wait a couple of week’s for a brand new episode of Glee while hordes of people who spit on the ground Glee walks on — namely, baseball fans — reveled in their playoff glory. Wednesday nights were filled with fanciful, rhythmic pacing, back and forth down a rhinestoned runway, thumbs twiddling betwixt our fingerless leather gloves. For fans of musical theater and/or steaming giant blocks of cheese, it was a painfully long hiatus. But tonight, folks, GLEE IS BACK. And believe it or not, it is better. than. ever.
How do we know? Fox was kind enough to send over a needle-full of heroin — sorry, we meant, the new episode screener for “Wheels” — which was carried over to my DVD player like the newborn baby in Children of Men. It was one of the few times I watched an episode of Glee without having seen any of the preview clips, and after all is said and done, I’m happy I didn’t. The element of surprise really adds to the overall enjoyment, and in the future, I will be chaining up my arms and legs before clicking play for any of their preview songs.
If the title is any (and every) indication, it is the first episode of the season to focus on one of the backgroundish characters. Namely, Artie and his Wheelchair. But “Wheels” is about so much more. In fact, it might be the first episode ever where various storylines weave between each other with ease, where more than just a small handful of the people we love get their fair shake of screentime. We spend time with Kurt and his father, a mechanic who used to host the show Nickelodeon “Guts.” Quinn’s baby storyline is advanced in a very satisfying way, replete with plenty of gratuitous Puck moments. And Will and Sue go through their usual motions, this time, with a twist. Even Principal Figgins gets his moment in the sun. And while there aren’t too many musical numbers, the ones we are given are glorious (including the finale, which is so cute as to be almost Japanese.) And the best part?
MR. SCHUESTER DOESN’T RAP. Not once. Not for a second. Did the petition work?
The episode was only 43 minutes long, but felt more like a Glee feature film. And, yes, there are moments in it that are super cheesy cheese from space, and things that would never, ever happen in real life, but isn’t that the reason we tune in? To laugh, to cringe, and — in the case of this episode — to cry? Don’t believe me now, but tonight, when you cry, remember to also think “Michelle told you so.”
If you have never seen Glee, and want to know what the fuss is about, watch tonight’s episode. And when it ends, if you still feel like it’s not for you, a. reevaluate your life and b. there’s nothing else we can really do for you. Watch those DVR’s episodes of “The Globe Succession” or whatever it’s called.
And if you’re already a fan… well, then, there is really no need to encourage you, is there?
Some people will tell you that seances are archaic wastes of time that no rational humans on this side of 1800 should ever spend one second partaking in, as their continued existence makes mankind as a whole embarrassingly dumber.
Try telling that to the guy in this clip, though, who cannot help but break down into tears because he’s talking to the actual ghost of Michael Jackson. Wouldn’t you??
See that old guy there with the hearing aids? There's probably a picture of him under the entry of "man" in the dictionary.
He played college baseball alongside Jackie Robinson at UCLA, played football in the Rose Bowl. Joined ROTC, joined the Army, volunteered for the paratroops. Jumped out of a perfectly good airplane and landed in Normandy. Silver Star at Brecourt Manor, wounded in Market Garden, was there in the Ardennes when Bill Guarnere (a couple of posts down in a great pic by Kyle) lost his leg, and was never quite the same after seeing his friend get maimed. After the war, he was a cop. While he was a cop, he worked on a law degree, and then became a chief deputy DA. He prosecuted Sirhan Sirhan. Then he became a judge.
Lynn "Buck" Compton, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division
It's become very fashionable to eat things made with spelt instead of plain, old wheat. Better for the digestive system, apparently. So here you go, bread made with spelt...
I went to dinner in Stuttgart last night, to a really nice Thai. I drove into town with someone else and then took the train back...
Flowers for my birthday from my colleagues at work:
I went for my MRI on Monday. This time for a scan of my thoracic spinal column. Unfortunately I have to go again on Friday morning for another one -- cervical spinal column. I really hope that is it then. Why can't they just do the whole thing in one go? I get brief results from the MRI technician/doctor right away on Friday. The next appointment with my neurologist is on the 24th, hopefully she can tell me something conclusive then. Although I think she was planning on doing some additional tests as well.
This time I did get an injection with contrast fluid. The whole procedure took 1 and a half hours. First without and then with contrast. The moment the guy gave me the injection, I knew I was going to get a bruise. It wasn't too bad, but I managed to make it worse -- by putting on my bandage over night. It looked pretty hideous the next morning. I guess the pressure of the bandage caused it to bleed some more.
The next thing I have to think about -- should I get vaccinated for swine flu? First of all I have to call my doctor to check if she even has the vaccine. Last month, when I told her that I am travelling to China, she immediately told me that I should get it. It wasn't available yet back then, but it is now. I am undecided. I guess it would make sense...
Every now and again, an e-mail lands into our “tips” hotline which piques our interest. This is one of those messages. JR over at the hilarious (albeit NSFW) website Homoshame writes the following:
Dear Best Week Ever,
On Saturday night, I dragged two of my best friends and my boyfriend to see “Oy Vey! My Son Is Gay” in Los Angeles. I was inspired to take the journey thanks to Michelle Collins’ post about the film. I thought, “This movie could take terrible to a whole new awesome level!”
Actually, the movie took terrible to a whole new terrible level. Characters’ motivations changed from scene to scene. Lanie Kazan just did a poor-man’s imitation of Michael Myers’ Linda Richmond shtick in every scene. And shockingly, Carmen Electra was probably the least offensive part of the movie (no really). My boyfriend accurately assessed that the flick was “a hate crime against comedy.”
After the movie, in the lobby of the theater, I grabbed the “Oy Vey! My Son Is Gay” postcard/flyer. I flipped it over and saw something awesome. Please see the attached photos.
-JR
So just what did JR find on the back of this postcard? Oh, no big deal really…
That’s right, readers. Bestweekever.tv has now joined the esteemed ranks of Orcasound Features Magazine and, yes, Canadian National TV (points for vagueness), with a quote that will almost certainly end my career. “Oy Vey! My Son Is Gay Features Most Talented Cast of Actors Ever Assembled For a Film” — Michelle (long inhale) Collins (5 minute sigh). Note, by the way, that the people printing this card couldn’t even get “Lainie Kazan“’s name spelled correctly.
But I ain’t mad. After all, finally someone has taken my ramblings on the internet seriously enough so as to print it on a glossy postcard. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to head over to Laemmle’s to pick me up a stackful so that my grandchildren may one day know that I was once a somebody.
Move over, Britney Spears’ Top Ten List, cause Jon Gosselin is jumping on the “look at my amazingly self-aware sense of humor” celebrity bandwagon with his own really, really light self-parody video on Funny Or Die. We all thought he was a total douchebag but he’s not cause you see he’s aware that he wears earrings! I’m sold.
In response, Kate will really rip into herself by posting a video of her saying “I am sometimes not great!” and gently hitting herself with a feather:
Bill Guarnere
United States Army
Easy Company, 2nd Battalion,
506th Parachute Infantry Regiment (PIR)
101st Airborne Division - 1942-1945
I got this [paratrooper] tattoo after D-Day. Me and Johnny Martin got a pass for London. When you go on a pass overseas in England you hitchhike. All the trucks are going your way, they take you, then you get off and another truck picks you up. We wound up at an Air Force base, a U.S. Air Force base. We got something to eat and a couple of pilots come over to us and started talking to us and they said "You want to come to Scotland?" "You gotta be kidding!" they were fighter pilots, they had these jets, so Johnny got in one and I got in the other one. It took about twelve minutes, we got to Edenburough Scottland. That's when we got the tattoos. Drunk as a skunk. If I was sober I never would have gotten it, but I was drunk. We had a good time up there. Edenburough, 1944. Right after D-Day. Drunk. I would never get tattoos sober.
From my photo project Warpaint: Tattoo Culture and the Armed Forces
When word broke that pretty boy actor James Franco was going to temporarily join the cast of General Hospital, we thought daytime television would be the perfect match for Franco’s dopey, perma-high, tiny-eyed skills. But the preview for his debut on November 20 is anything but tiny-eyed. In fact, we dare you to sit through this HIGHLY DRAMATIC minute of murder and intrigue without your eyeballs plain poppin’ out ya head.
Franco, sporting the preferred hairstyle of every bad guy in the movie Passenger 57, actually fits in quite nicely amongst the Fuddrucker’s Window of Man Meats that is the General Hospital cast. Though I think we can all agree after watching this that “Mad World”’s chill-inducing quotient is now on the same level as the Chili’s Baby Back Rib theme song.
(via Buzzfeed)
Eagle-eyed reader Adam Cooper of the Cooperific blog has brought to our attention a throwaway cameo on this week’s hilarious Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. In it, Larry David finds himself in a dilemma when, while trying on pants at Banana Republic, the fire alarm goes off. Forced to leave his pants inside, he flees the store with the other customers.
But whoa boy. Hold on a moment. There. In the lumberjack beard… that man. He looks like a man I once knew on film. Why, stop us if you’ve heard this before, but is that Ben Affleck shopping at Banana Republic on Curb Your Enthusiasm?
Indeed. It is. We’re kind of liking the Nicholson neck beard he’s rocking. But we wonder: Was Affleck just coincidentally at Banana/in the area the day they were taping? Or did he have to audition for the role? Either way, as Affleck usually does: Nailed it.
My girlfriend Lara emailed to say spouse losing his job wasn't a good enough excuse for me to miss our annual gathering and she would pay my share of the house rental. The news made me cry, and made me wonder what I ever did to deserve such wonderful friends.
My other girlfriend
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explodingalice, whom I must actually meet someday so I can hug her neck, sent a book I had coveted, Finding Serenity. I'm having difficulty not reading it right now! (I have two book group books to finish before reading something 'off list.') Thank you, Alice, from the bottom of my heart.And the books that I ordered before spouse became unemployed arrived, all seven of them. My last indulgence for the time being. At least I won't be giving the postman any more excuses to hate me.
- Mood:
grateful
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